A woman called me last week to discuss how the conflict between her and her mother-in-law nearly caused the breakdown of her six-month marriage.
After the wedding, her mother-in-law made the decision to move in with the newlyweds and attempted to exert control over their union.
The mother-in-law used to gripe about her husband, the food she was eating, and the amount of money she was given for meals.
She claimed that despite her best efforts, she was unable to live in harmony with her until she moved out of their house.
I would like to make this article a clear one in light of the singles who are getting married soon.
It’s best for newly married couples to live apart from their parents during the beginning.
For couples, being newlywed is a wonderful moment. Couples are still getting to know one another at this part of their relationship as they adjust to this new phase.
Even though your mother-in-law is probably a wonderful person, living with her might not be the best decision.
There are various stages of marriage and associated difficulties. Let me break it down;
STARTER’S STAGE is the initial stage.
This phase begins as soon as the newlyweds exchange vows, their honeymoon period till their marriage and being together clocks five years. This is the hardest time of year. m
During this stage, money, intimacy, time management, in-laws, career, childrearing, character flaws, unpleasant revelations about your partner’s true nature, vulnerabilities, and mutual understanding are the main concerns.
This is the stage at which most divorces occur, according to statistics.
Recently married couples ought to be permitted to spend this time alone together.
They must learn how to run their joint lives without the assistance of a third party. They must learn to comprehend and get to know one another.
To have a fulfilling relationship in which they may get to know one another better and develop as a pair, they need isolation.
It takes disagreements and occasional arguments for a pair to learn how to coexist.
No matter how amazing and cool your in-laws are, it’s always best to keep your distance.
You may be the kind prospective daughter-in-law who is a joy to be around before getting married, but after a few months of marriage, you might start to resemble the unhelpful wife or the slack daughter-in-law who refuses to tidy the house while expecting. At that point, your lovely connection would end.
Parents may get overly engaged in their married children’s personal lives; even when they do so with the best of intentions, parents may snoop about in their children’s marriages, how they manage their finances and home, and how they bring up their kids.
Conflicting viewpoints can really become a cause of tension and are much harder to live with on a daily basis.
While I think it’s important to hear about the parents’ experiences, I also think that young couples and parents, particularly in the early years of marriage and motherhood, should be given the time and space to grow into their own distinct family and set of parents.
You must, however, consider the situation. If your parents require your close presence, you may live close by (albeit not in the same home) to assist them, but you must have the maturity and insight to ensure that this will not negatively impact your marriage.
Finally, as you try to isolate yourself alongside your partner, please ensure you reach out to your in-laws and ask after their health. Isolating your new family does not include neglecting your parents and in-laws, call the once in a while and show you care.