How to identify a failing marriage and how to get it back on track

Dear married couples:. Please pay more attention to the happenings in your marriage, and ensure everything is fine between you and your spouse. Many times, we tend to be carried away by our jobs, neglecting the red signs in our homes.

The distress in marriage may not be hard to figure out easily because our job, which most times takes the best part of our daily activities, may pose a hindrance to seeing the warning signs.

A home where the husband and wife barely see each other. As the husband is resuming her job, the wife is on her way to her workplace. Such a home may not easily find the error that needs to be fixed urgently.

Anytime a marriage is in distress, there are warning signs. Either we are insensitive to the happenings in our relationship or we simply choose to ignore them because they didn’t come ‘big’.

Here are the red flags to watch out for in a troubled marriage.

  1. Communication

When communication is becoming a burden between you and your spouse,. It could be a red flag.

From time to time, couples have misunderstandings amongst themselves, but if all you do is argue, curse, or fight rather than have a healthy conversation with your spouse,. It is an indication that all is not well in your marriage.

  1. Isolation

When you build a wall around yourself with the intention of stopping your spouse from invading your emotional space, it is a red flag and it can lead to emotional or physical disconnection.

Building a wall around yourself through malice or silent treatment can destroy the peace of your family. It can lead to dysfunctional family settings

  1. Trust

If trust is an issue in your relationship,. It is a red flag. Without trust, your marriage will die a natural death. As much as you want your partner to trust you, please ensure the trust is not altered by any suspicious actions from you.

For instance, if you tell your partner you are going to XZY Town, he then decides to visit his friend at ABC Town; if he sees you there, he will want to think otherwise. Give all you can to win your partner’s trust.

  1. Appreciation

If you find it difficult to appreciate your spouse for all their efforts towards your marriage,. It is a red flag and it can kill the affection your spouse has for you.

To resolve that, always appreciate every effort from your spouse. Don’t be a partner who asks, ‘how much did you get it?’ when your partner tries to spice up your marriage by giving you a surprise gift. No matter how little effort your partner puts into adding value to your world, please appreciate it.

  1. Unforgiveness

If you are struggling with forgiving your spouse even after apologizing to you a million times,. It is a red flag. Unforgiveness is a weight that is destroying the peace in many homes.

Shun the idea of ‘tit for tat’ in your marriage. Although some wrongs may be too hard to forgive, even at that, you still need to learn how to forgive your partner. Once your partner apologizes and you can sense the sincerity in the apology, please forgive. This strengthens marriages.

  1. Commitment

When you begin to question your commitment to your marriage,. Or why should you make any sacrifice to make your marriage work? It is a red flag and it can destroy your sense of responsibility towards your marriage.

Some marriages fail because a party assumes he or she is doing too much to keep the marriage healthy. Once the question of ‘am I not doing too much to keep this home?’ pops up in your mind, please rebuke it. Your commitment is part of your contribution to making the marriage stand. Stay committed.

  1. Affection

Affection is one of the ingredients in building healthy relationships between couples.

When you see nothing good or exciting about your spouse, you will be easily irritated by them, and it can thrash affection in your relationship.

You don’t need to wait for your partner to make a move before you make yours. The affection in your marriage should be mutual. If your partner decides to be causal in all dealings, please call their attention to it. Affection is a necessary ingredient in marriage.

  1. Respect

Respect is one of the pillars supporting the sanity of marriage. When you are insensitive to the feelings of your spouse and constantly do things to hurt them without feeling any remorse, it is a red flag.

If you find it difficult to respect the views of your spouse when taking vital decisions concerning issues in your home or you find it easy to make a decision without the consent of your partner, it is disrespect and that is a red flag strong enough to create a division in your family.

When you see these red flags in your relationship, it does not mean that your marriage is over. In fact, you should be grateful that you can see them early and also have the opportunity to work on it.

Marriage has its ups and downs. Yours is not an exception. For the sanity of your marriage, find a way to reach out to your spouse.

  • Carry out an assessment on yourself and be sure you are not the agent to the problems in your marriage.
  • Find a meeting point where you can communicate your feelings to the understanding of your spouse.
  • Communication is the strength of any marriage. It has proven to be very effective in maintaining peace in any relationship.
  • Be intentional in correcting your wrongs.
  • Apologize where necessary.
  • Forgive where necessary. Your spouse is not perfect neither are you.
  • Concentrate more on your spouse.
  • Pay more attention to their physical and emotional needs.

Nurture your relationship rather than run a home. Start courting and befriending your spouse again. With just a little push, your marriage can get back on track again and remain a model for many to imitate.