Five pillars of relationship and marriage

Marriage needs some foundational pillars to make sure it becomes rock solid.

We will be discussing these pillars this morning and focusing on how to build them into our marriages so that the marriage becomes rock solid. It is imperative to note that a marriage can be rock-solid but never perfect.

Pillar 1: LOVE

1 Corinthians 13 defines love for us. Love is patient, and love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, and it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Love is all about giving; it is not about feeling. It should be based on actions toward one’s husband or wife. It means I am giving myself to him or her.

Pillar 2: TRUST

A good marriage cannot be built and sustained without trust. Trust in one another is vital.

Marital trust has three basic levels. 

  1. Fidelity; Hebrews 13:4 – Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the s€xually immoral and adulterous.
  2. Honesty; John 8:32 – And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
  3. Behaviours; One wants to trust the other to meet needs, to be treated with respect, to be patient, and to consider him or her in daily activities.

Pillar 3: RESPECT

A valid question to ask is, “How much do I value my spouse?”

The pillar of value for one another means that husbands and wives hold each other in such esteem that they are willing to forego natural ways of showing respect and learn how to show respect in ways that one’s spouse will understand.

Pillar 4: UNDERSTANDING

Zechariah 8:16 These are the things you are to do: Speak the truth to each other and render true and sound judgment

Understanding one another is a pillar that has everything to do with going to school. A husband’s job is to become a student of his wife. A wife’s job is to become a student of her husband.

A spouse might ask the following questions:

How well do I know my spouse?

Am I aware of what he/she likes to eat?

Do I know what it is that makes him/her happy? Sad? Frustrated? Angry?

Am I aware of how he/she will react in certain situations?

How does he/she think and communicate?

Why does he/she feel certain ways?

Understanding one’s spouse is vital in order to ensure that one will be able to show respect, communicate effectively, and be what that other person needs.

Pillar 5: Faith

Faith is the understanding that there is something larger than oneself. It is the possibility of something better. It is the archetype, the idea of beauty. These ideals are in the mind of God

There is an archetype for marriage. It is an ideal set in the mind of God. When one’s faith is in God and in the possibility of marriage being wonderful, hope increases. The ideal is something to strive for. It is an unreachable goal, but one to hold as a standard for a lifetime.

Two people of faith who hold before them the ideal of marriage as God intended will find the journey of marriage to be the most fulfilling of all earthly relationships.