Marriage is God’s ordained institution and it is safe to say women want to get married to a man that will make the marriage worth staying in.
Unfortunately, unlike men, women wait for men to propose first, especially here in Africa. The power to propose lies solely with men. In light of this, does it now mean that women should just say yes to anything that involves wearing trousers?
Of course not! If men exclusively have the right to propose, women also have the right to either accept or decline the proposal.
As much as we are here in Africa, factors like age, parents, culture, tradition, and society play a greater part in pushing many women into marrying the wrong person.
Here is a list of some attitudes you need to check in any man trying to woo you over into marrying him.
- A HELPER
Any man you see feels so important, believing that without him, you and your family cannot stand. Instead of seeing you as a helper, he now sees himself as your helper. Please don’t marry him. Man does not have the capacity to help. Only God can help a man.
- A BULLY
Any Man that his presence exudes fear Once you make a little mistake and he flares up or even attacks you physically, please run away from such man. Your marriage is meant to be enjoyed, not endured. Any man who finds it easy to pounce on you and inflict either physical or emotional injury on you is not worth being your husband.
Any man who is self-centered will never care about his wife’s or children’s welfare. It’s always about ‘them’. Every single opportunity they have would be centered on them. They want to take the show, they want the focus to be on them, and they want to be okay before anyone else. They want to do better than their wives at all costs. Please run away from such men. They won’t take your breath or give you space to explore easily.
Please, if you are a decent girl or sister who has lived a very decent life and don’t want a heartbreak in the future or to start what you never did as a spinster, please don’t marry a man to whom everything around him breathes infidelity, because marriage doesn’t change them; rather, most of them become worse. I’ve once said this and I will say it again: that attitude of his/her that you cannot cope with just in case it gets worse in marriage, please review it well now that you are still in a relationship.
- AN ADDICT
When we talk about addiction, there are only two things that can change it. The first one is ‘God’ and the second is ‘Rehabilitation’. Marriage is not a rehabilitation center; therefore, don’t enter.
If he’s addicted to betting or doing anything that the world is not finding easy to accept, please don’t consider him. Run as fast as your leg can take you to save yourself from unnecessary stress in marriage.
Any man who does not know how to tolerate a woman cannot stay with her. Naturally! Women have this thing in them that they keep introducing as the marriage gets older. So an intolerant or angry man cannot manage a woman effectively. Unless you believe in divorce and are ready for it, you can no longer cope.
Secretiveness is one of the red flags in making a choice for a life partner. The inability to disclose or foretell your partner about yourself or the inability to communicate properly in a relationship is a no-no. A big one at that. It leads to a broken home.
Unforgiveness and the tendency to always avenge any wrong done to you should be a red flag. If all he believes in is tit for tat, please run for your dear life. In marriage, there is every tendency that either of you will wrong each other, knowingly or unknowingly. The truth is, there are many things you will do that you will not even know you have done wrong. If he’s vengeful, he will avenge every wrong, and that is very risky to your mental health and life.
The second name of a pretender is a stranger. Staying with a pretender, that is, someone you don’t truly know, is quite dangerous, and anything can happen. This trait is one of the worst traits any lady should accept.
A divisive man will immediately welcome you into his house. Cut yourself off from your parents, friends, loved ones, and even members of the place where you worship. They will never allow anything to come into the house. If you discover such, it is wise to decline such a proposal so that you don’t put yourself in bondage.
Thank you for reading.